Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
