I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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