I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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