Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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