Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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