More tranny stories later!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
