he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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