I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
