nutella sex= disaster
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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