she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
