Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
