Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize