Just cropdusted the office
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My balls are so social today.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
