she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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