Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
