We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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