just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
