Me. At least after what I've been through.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
