Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
PANTIES FOUND
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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