God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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