ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
did i just pee glitter
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
