hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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