OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
