She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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