I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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