And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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