I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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