I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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