You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
