Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
