I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
