Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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