I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
