What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
