do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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