i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
