We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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