Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
