Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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