you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
