There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
