Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
