i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
