You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
