I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
