my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
