so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
