This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
