Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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