She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
