Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
