I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
