the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
