he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
well you can't waste a boner
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize