Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
