Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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