Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
