Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
