I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
