I'm going to jail i love you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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