So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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