I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
