there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
