Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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