Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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