and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize