i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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