i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
