she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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