pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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