i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize