Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So much rum. So many feels.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
