have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
